After the chaos of Christmas comes the reflection of the year that has passed and long before we’ve eaten all the leftover turkey, our thoughts turn to the New Year and how we are going to do things differently. How next year is going to be bigger, bolder, brighter, happier and healthier.
We all feel the pressure to look back on our lives and examine our perceived faults, which if you struggle with your mental health, can just make matters worse. Are we putting too much pressure on ourselves from the word go? And are we just setting ourselves up for failure?
Pressure on ourselves
As we move from one year into another, there is a tendency for us to go all out and try to fundamentally change who we are, immediately. Negatively reflecting on our lives can lead us to set unrealistic expectations for ourselves, with goals that are impossible to achieve. There is no problem with goal setting. In fact, setting yourself achievable goals is a great way to make positive changes in your life. But, putting pressure on yourself to make grand, wholesale changes to your life at the beginning of a new year can do more harm than good.
The first thing to remember is, you don’t have to make huge changes just because the date has changed. Try to avoid succumbing to the societal pressure of unachievable resolutions. Accept the fact that people who set New Year’s resolutions are more likely to fail than at any other time of the year. But if you still want to use the New Year as a time to reflect and focus on self development, then try to be realistic. You could set yourself small, manageable, short term changes, that you can achieve and then expand upon over the year.
For example, if you want to lose weight or get fit, focus on cutting out sugar from your diet, or losing 5lb rather than setting yourself a huge unattainable goal. You could set yourself the goal of walking three times a week, rather than hitting the gym or running a 5k. By setting yourself smaller, achievable goals, you can feel the reward as you achieve your goals and set new ones moving forward.
Pressure on our relationships
The New Year is also a time when many people take stock of their relationship and set goals for how they want their relationship to change. However, reflecting on your relationship after the Christmas and New Year period can mean that your perception of your relationship may not be a true reflection of your reality.
The Christmas and New Year period may be a stressful one for many relationships; the pressures of hosting, family dynamics, travelling, visiting relatives, financial pressures and spending more time together than usual may lead you to make snap judgements about your relationship.
Accept that the New Year may not be the best time to reflect on your relationship. It is probably best to wait until your lives return to the normal everyday routine before you focus on the aspects of your relationship that you’d like to change. That way, you can be clear that you are focusing on changes you want, rather than just reacting to the last few weeks of the previous year.
If you would like personalised help to manage your stress, anxiety or any other feelings associated with the New Year, I offer confidential counselling in North Hampshire or online . Please give me a call or drop me an email.