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During my time as a counsellor in Basingstoke, I have seen some clients stay with me for extremely long periods, while others only come for two or three sessions. No individual is the same, and everyone has slightly different needs. It could be that a few counselling sessions feel like enough if you are simply looking for a place to blow off steam or process a specific life event. However, when it comes to making genuine meaningful changes to how you feel on a daily basis, two or three sessions isn’t likely to be enough. Which begs the question: how many counselling sessions do I actually need?

The answer, unfortunately, is that it varies from person to person. There is no specific timeframe for a ‘sufficient’ amount of counselling sessions, although sometimes counsellors recommend anywhere between six and 12 meetings as part of a ‘short-term’ counselling plan. However, while we can’t be sure how many sessions are enough, we can say that anything under six isn’t likely to elicit change.

The most important element of any counselling relationship is, well, the relationship – the bond of trust and mutual understanding you develop with your counsellor. It takes time to feel comfortable around a new person, and even longer to speak truthfully to them, and the reality is that it can be a few months before you begin to talk with complete honesty and feel capable of speaking about what lies at the core of your problem, whatever it may be.

Many people don’t realise that counselling is a collaborative process: it is a symbiotic relationship that evolves over time. That back-and-forth process is especially important in counselling, because the relationship that develops between counsellor and client is the main path I use towards gaining an understanding of the personal and interpersonal struggles in your wider life.

Counselling, in this sense, is an investment into your future. It is not easy work; you won’t see benefits right away, or even after a few weeks – a reason why many people stop after just three or four sessions. Persistence and curiosity are two fundamental aspects of a successful counselling relationship. You have to remain invested for longer than a couple of months for there to be actual progress.

Along with it being ‘too hard’, many people give up counselling because they simply cannot afford it, which is completely understandable. With rising energy prices, increases in National Insurance, and other economic factors, the idea of spending £300 on six counselling sessions is simply not viable for most people. However, if you do have some savings and are someone who experiences depression, anxiety, or any other issue that they care deeply about resolving, the money you put towards counselling makes sense. It is an investment into your own wellbeing.

If you are curious to know more about counselling in Basingstoke or online, give me a call or email at any time and I will get back to you.

If you are thinking about seeking counselling in Basingstoke or online, you might feel anxious about the process of getting in touch. The idea of sharing personal feelings with a stranger can feel daunting, and there are bound to be some nerves to start with. This is perfectly normal. 

You are not expected to speak completely freely to start with. Getting to that place takes some time, and that sense of comfort is the most important part of our work together. Developing that relationship – one grounded in mutual trust and understanding – is so crucial, because without it meaningful progress cannot really be made. To help you learn more about the counselling process before reaching out, here are three reasons why I place the client-therapist relationship at the centre of my work. 

Speak Truthfully 

Your sense of safety in the practice room – or over Zoom if you prefer – is something I always take care to cultivate during our time together. When we meet someone new, it is common to put up a bit of a mask, but eventually we get comfortable and start being more like our true self. This is also the case in counselling, and I take great care to be responsive to your needs, creating an atmosphere of unconditional positive regard that allows you to unapologetically be yourself. When you feel this way, you will feel more comfortable and be more willing to properly open up about your deep-rooted feelings and issues. 

Relational Knowledge 

A strong client-therapist relationship is not just important in terms of making you feel safe. It also has a directly practical therapeutic function. This is because, for many therapists, the relationship developed with a client over the course of therapy serves as the primary route towards understanding their wider interpersonal struggles and the resultant impact they have on mental health. 

During sessions, the therapist will learn about the client’s strategies for disconnection, as well as how they present themselves in general. Once these relational aspects have been identified, the therapist and client can explore the potential reasons behind the use of these strategies, giving them a clearer perspective on why they feel the way they do in social situations. 

Shared Decision Making 

Counselling is not just about being told what to do or not do. Working in this way is extremely limited, because the client will never develop the tools for self-empowerment that are key for overcoming issues like anxiety or low self-esteem. They may receive some comfort, along with some useful perspectives, but they usually won’t integrate these teachings into their daily life. 

Having a close relationship with your counsellor makes it much easier to be collaborative – to take an active role in the healing process. This is a much more effective form of counselling than simply voicing how you feel and being prescribed ‘solutions’. It allows you to feel more in control of your therapy. You begin to tap into your own inner potential for growth, which is such a crucial part of moving to a better place. 

If you would like to know more about counselling in Basingstoke or online, feel free to get in touch with me at any time. I would be happy to answer any questions you might have. 

One of the modalities I use within humanistic counselling is Transactional Analysis. This is a highly structured yet very accessible form of therapy that is designed to explore your personality, how this has been shaped by experience (particularly in childhood), and what this means in the context of issues like depression, anxiety, or other trauma-related problems. It has been shown to have a number of benefits, and this blog post walks you through three of them.

Structure Your Life Script

An important part of transactional analysis is mapping out your ‘life script’. This is formed by experiences from childhood that laid the foundation for how we think about ourselves. If your parents were stressed workaholics, for example, you may believe that you are not loveable and must always please others so that they will need you. These beliefs continue into adulthood and lead to the same problems occurring in our relationships and how we feel about ourselves. Transactional analysis allows us to look at this internal process and understand why our script developed in the way it did, ahead of using techniques to challenge and change our daily thinking patterns and replace them with new ones.

Be Kinder To Yourself

By giving clients the space to understand their life script and the internal processes that lead to certain ways of perceiving themselves, I encourage an atmosphere of kindness to oneself. Transactional analysis illuminates the extent to which we are mean to ourselves, along with the impact this has on our behaviour, emotions, and relationships with others. Having this knowledge about ourselves gives us greater autonomy over how we think, rather than simply accepting your unconscious thought patterns as inevitable.

Communicate Better

Transactional analysis claims that we have three separate ego states – parent, adult, and child. If one person is acting from an adult state and another person from a child state, communication can break down and cause issues between the two people. These ‘transactions’ happen all the time, often ending in a similarly negative way. Transactional analysis helps people become more mindful of their different ego states, enabling them to flow between them more freely understanding their influence on others. Over time, this will lead to more transparent, honest, fulfilling communication with others and, by extension, better relationships.

If you are interested in learning more about transactional analysis, or other forms of humanistic counselling in Basingstoke, Newbury, and online, feel free to get in touch with me at any time. I’d be happy to answer any questions you may have.

As a counsellor working in Basingstoke, Hampshire I understand that many people are feeling a range of emotions as the world embraces our ‘new normal’ following two years of lockdowns and COVID-19 restrictions. After such a long period of time, during which we have adjusted to a certain way of life, how do we navigate this different landscape? Naturally this question brings up some difficult feelings, and I am here to help you walk through them.

The first thing to keep in mind is that you are not alone in how you are feeling. So many people I speak with are anxious or worried about ‘returning to the world’,. Big social occasions, or even going inside a crowded shop or pub, can feel scary, which is only natural after these activities were taken away from us for so long. I am here to help you process these feelings and develop techniques for managing them as you navigate certain life situations that you may find stressful.

Another feeling that you may have is a sense of anger at a lack of control in your life. For so long, we were all instructed by the government to remain indoors – instructions most of us followed very closely. Now that we have been given freedom to go outside, all of a sudden many find themselves now being told what to do by their boss, namely return to the office, for no clearly viable reason. It is perfectly natural to feel angry at the lack of control you have over these decisions, and how they affect your wellbeing and pattern of life.

You may not want to go back to the office, or attend large social gatherings, yet there feels like there is enormous pressure to do so – from friends, from government figures, from your work. Amid all these forces, it can be hard to remain close to how you feel within yourself – what you really want.

If you are experiencing this kind of issue, or any problems relating to the ‘new normal’, from depression to anxiety to anger, I offer a safe, confidential, non-judgemental space to talk them through with humanistic counselling in Basingstoke, Newbury, and online. I am here to give you that space where you can express your honest feelings in a way that makes sense to you. Feel free to get in touch with me at any time.